AFABC

I'm very excited - the Adoptive Families Association of BC has offered/agreed to be connected to the retreat! I've been a volunteer with them for a few years now, since I started up our local Coffee & Chat group. I've alway been impressed by their willingess to take on the tough stuff about adoption; to ask the questions that we, as individual parents, cannot always ask the politicians, social workers, etc.

More than anything else, I feel that the AFABC is there for people at every stage in the adoption process. My children love to see the celebratory pictures (they felt like stars when their own announcement was published). My eldest often turns to the profile, as she feels deeply about children remaining in the foster system. We've borrowed books from the extensive library, gathered great advice on the phone and from the website, and had some great discussions at our coffee & chat group.

I think this is awesome news! (And, I want to send a special shout-out to Dianna, who is such an amazing 'adoption support coordinator.' Thanks!!!

And - look! We're even on their website. How cool is that!

Giving voice to the yuckies

So, a BIG part of why I organized this "Moms Away" retreat was that I really, really wanted to go to Orlando to join with all the other moms. I flip-flopped back and forth, and finally decided that I just could not justify the expense. However, I just read Corey's post about fears and I cried. At first I thought - what are you doing in my head? Then, I realized that there are so many of us who deal with unimaginable things every day. And, we get up the next day and do it all again. It's amazing really.

To add to Corey's impressive list, here are a few of those yucky thoughts of my own:
* How did I ever think I could handle all of this?
* I can't be honest with the people I love about my kids, because I don't want anyone else judging them or me.
* This hurts so much.
* If it hurts me this much, I can't even imagine what it is like for my children.
* I love them so much; shouldn't I be able to make it all better?
* Will my marriage survive raising our children?
* What was I thinking?
* I am so mad at . Why isn't he/she/they here helping this child survive this?
* I am not the parent I thought I would be. Some days, I am so much less; some days, so much more.
* One day at a time - some days, one breath at a time.
* It is what it is.

These are all just my thoughts - and even here, I am self-editing as I don't want to be judged. One hundred nineteen days until Moms Away where no self-editing will be necessary. Just honesty, rejuvenation, and connection.

I can't wait!

Resolutions

What are you doing for yourself in 2011? I know that, as moms, we tend to be at the bottom of our own lists of people to take care of. I don't normally make resolutions, but I've made a couple this year.

The first one is to clean out my pantry. I've been reading lots of different blogs lately (about Haiti, living simply, saving money, helping each other). I tend to hoard food - a holdover from my mother's habit, I think - and my cupboards are rarely empty. I spend way too much on groceries each month, and I still have those "we have nothing to eat nights." I decided that, until the contents of my two fridges, freezer, and multiple cupboards have been almost used up, I'm only going to shop for milk, eggs, cheese, fruits, and veggies. I'm two weeks in, and it's going well. We're having some interesting meals, but overall, it's working. (When I made cupcakes the other night out of a cake mix, my children were stunned - "what's the occasion?") What I didn't expect is the huge time savings this would give. Instead of spending an hour or two at the grocery store every week, I spend 15 minutes getting the stuff I actually need. I don't look at sales or specials or lost-leaders. In and out. Little tiny grocery bills (tens instead of hundreds), little bit of time, and a good feeling that I'm not contributing to a wasteful lifestyle. (Did I mention I throw out less now as well?)

My second resolution is harder. I resolved to take care of myself on a daily and monthly basis. To put myself first for just a few minutes each day. So far, I'm about 50/50 on this one.

BUT - I know I have the retreat coming up which is totally just for me (and those of you who come as well!) I figure that will tip the scales significantly.

The first house is now half full, which is absolutely amazing! Five other women are putting themselves first for a weekend and saying, "I need this!"

What will you do for you this year? Will you join us at Silver Star (or one of the other retreats that are around)? Will you go for a walk after dinner twice a week? Will you lock the bathroom door and soak in the tub for just ten minutes?

155 days and counting

I was up at Silver Star today, skiing in the amazing fresh snow. It was wonderful to be there with my husband and two younger children. However, as I swooshed by a few chalets, I smiled to myself about the retreat to be held in one of them. (I still haven't figured out exactly which one yet, but will do that soon.)

Of course, there won't be snow or people zipping by on their skis and snowboards. But, it should be just as fun - and no mittens to tuck into jackets, boots to do up, etc. etc.

Merry Christmas!

Agenda

You may have noticed that next to the word "Agenda" is one simple little word - None. And, it's possible you're wondering why it's like that. Why wouldn't I create a schedule of events for us to choose from?

The answer isn't because I don't have any ideas. Nor is it because I don't think we could afford it. I left it at "None" for two reasons.

1) I'd like the actual participants to be able to have a say in what, if anything, we choose to do. I've had suggestions so far about pedicures, massages, journal and card instruction, walks, hot tubs, etc. Once we have a full house, I'll send out a little survey and take it from there.

2) At the moment, the idea of "none" sounds pretty darn good to me. I work full-time (and some of those days have a very long commute). When I schedule in the kids' activities, a few mommy-sanity nights, and time with my husband, there is very little non-scheduled time left in my life. "None" - I'd like a bit of that this morning!

PayPal setup

I've now set up PayPal for deposits or full payments. If you would rather use a credit card than send me a cheque, please just use the link at the right.

We have committments for five people already! Yay!! Remember, even if you're not sure but you think you would like to come, let me know and I'll hold a space for you for awhile.

Details

Every mom needs a break now and then; a chance to be by herself, or to perhaps connect with others dealing with the same issues, to share stories, quiet thoughts, laughter, or perhaps some tears. You are invited to come and share some time with other adoptive moms; come and have a weekend for YOU!
Details:
Date: Friday, May 27 – Sunday, May 29, 2011
Location: Silver Star Mountain Resort, Vernon, BC
Cost: From $100-$120 (see form)
Agenda: None
What’s included: Accommodation & meals (2 dinners, 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches & snacks)

Interested? Space will be granted on a first-come, first-serve basis. At this time, we have space for 12 people in our first chalet. If we have more than 12 people who want to come, those additional names will be put on a waiting list. If we have enough to rent a second (or third, or fourth) chalet, we will do so!

You can hold your space by sending me a $50 non-refundable deposit by March 1, 2011 (if you can’t come, we will try to fill your space. If we can do so, we will return your $50.) The balance will be due May 1, 2011. (Full payment at time of reservation would be excellent, if at all possible, as I've already paid for the chalet.)

Meals will be communal affairs, with small groups of people preparing each meal. Please indicate any food allergies/preferences on the reservation form.

Please send me an email at tmkisil at gmail dot com, and I will send you the form along with my address.