Registration information

Just a reminder of the page for registration. We still have some shared rooms available (If you like, you could pay for both beds and have a room to yourself... we can be flexible!)

I am on spring break this week, so hope to get in touch with all of you amazing mamas this week to find out food preferences, allergies, etc.

The registration page is just for the deposit. The balance will be due by April 30; watch your email and this site for more information.

To register: http://2012momsaway.eventbrite.com/

67 days left!

Compassion Fatigue

I'm writing this from a conference in the States. Unfortunately, many of the speakers are presenting material I already know. However, I feel that if you get one or two solid things at a conference, then it is a worthwhile learning event.

Here's the thing I got yesterday - the idea of "compassion fatigue." When I heard about this term, I knew right away that I wanted to blog about it. Here is the first sentence: Caring too much can hurt. 

Here's a link to a self-test that you can take to see if you might be compassion fatigued. As you take it, replace the word "helper" with the word "parent." Here are just two questions from the test:

• I am not as productive at work because I am losing sleep over traumatic experiences of a person I parent.
• I think that I might have been affected by the traumatic stress of those I parent.

I can only speak for myself, but I certainly can recognize the idea that I've been compassion-fatigued at certain times in my parenting journey. It's easy to martyr oneself as a mom (or dad). I know I have. Do any of these statements (which I have either thought or said at some point) sound familiar to you?

• I can't go out/away because no one can handle my kids
• I need to do this myself
• I chose to have this child (whether through birth or adoption), so I'm not allowed to regret this decision. That would make me a bad person/mother.
• I really want to ______________________ (fill in the blank), but I'll have to wait until my family life is in order. I really don't know when, if ever, that will be.
• I wish someone could swoop in and make this all better; I just don't know what to do anymore
• I am so tired
• I am exhausted
• I'm done with all of this
• I'm leaving - no, I'm not - yes, I am - no, I'm not
• I hate this. Wait, let me take that back. I'm not allowed to hate this. I still hate it...

What is the whole point of understanding compassion fatigue? I think it's to recognize that you might need a break, that you need to learn some self-care techniques, that in order to keep being compassionate and caring, you need to aim that compassion and care towards yourself. 

You've probably all heard the metaphor that you need to put your oxygen mask on before you put one on someone else. If you're all out of oxygen (read energy, life, ability to care), how will you help those you care about?