Connect

I strongly believe in being resourceful, in searching out help and guidance in many different forms. My own opinion is that many parents, believing that they should 'go it alone' in adoption, cocoon within their own homes and struggle daily all by themselves. It's so easy to believe that you are the only one wading through the muck to attachment and healing.

A few months back, we reached out and found this resource (started at Maples, but now offered around the province and around the world.) We are committed to eleven weeks; the third session is in just a few hours. Although I consider myself fairly well educated on attachment, trauma, the impact of early neglect, etc., I am still learning something every night.

I like that the sessions are short (one hour + a free dinner each night). I like that it is a well-structured program, with a simple handout at the end of each session. I also like that we are given a challenge each week to focus on. Last week's was to "interpret your child's behaviour in a different way." I'm really keeping in mind a concept from the first week - one's (mis)behaviour is a way of saying that something is not right.

We've already seen changes in our family as we change our own reactions and interpretations. After all, we are the adults here. It's our responsibility to suck it up and do the work. The kids have their own work to do, but it has to begin with us (in my opinion anyway.)

It really all comes down to relationship, doesn't it? And, as a good friend of mine likes to say, "Relationships are not for wimps." I'd add a codicil: Neither is parenting!