Final report

I was asked to write a few paragraphs for the AFABC e-news. I thought I would also post a copy here.

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"Moms Away 2011" was the first annual retreat for adoptive moms held this May at Silver Star, BC. Although the participants could have wished for warmer weather (and less snow), the weekend was still worthwhile in so many ways. There is a subtle beauty in the coming together of a new group, with friendships seamlessly formed by a common bond - in our case, adoption. We shared our stories, knowing that we were in a place of non-judgement. With wonder, we all saw that we were not alone in our struggles or our joys. We all came together for rest, support, but also for affirmation that there are others who understand - and celebrate - our paths.

It's difficult to write about the weekend in some ways, as it was such a 'set-apart' time. It's not a case of 'what is said at the retreat, stays at the retreat' although I think we all appreciate the agreement of confidentiality. Words simply cannot express the instant connection between people, the reconnecting of existing friendships, or the deepening understanding of our shared journeys. I think one of the most powerful aspects for me was the recognition that this was 'real.' There was no sugar-coating or covering up. We told the truth how we felt and saw it, and we weren't judged for it.

We also learned so much from one another. This retreat was like an intensive workshop, where you are surrounded by parenting experts who are willing to tell you anything you want to know. But, it was a workshop with chocolate!

During the weekend, individuals or smaller groups often broke off to walk, shop, talk, dance, or simply rest. There were few planned activities, so each participant felt empowered to do just what she wanted to. With masssages, good food, and great conversation, the time passed quickly.

The Victoria Foundation generously provided us with a grant to support these 10 moms (who, in total, have 51 children!). I believe the money was well-spent, as I saw women who give so much to their children and families, be on the receiving end of gifts and generousity.

Sunday morning came quickly, yet saw moms ready to return to their 'regular' lives with a few more addreses in their email, a couple of hugs, and a promise of 'same time, next year!'