The money thing

March 1, which seemed SO far away when I first set this retreat up, is fast approaching. This is the date I'd originally set for the $50 "hold your spot" payment. If you haven't yet paid this (and, only two people have so far), please send in your moola asap. You can send me a cheque, use the Paypal link at the side, stop me on the street (well, those of you who are local, anyway!).

If you won't be coming, please let me know that as well so I can open your spot up. But - please come!!!! It won't be the same without you - yes, I'm talking to you! :-)

If you need me to send a form to you, email me at tmkisil at gmail.com

Cheers,
Teresa

The Power of "Away"

This weekend, four families that all share a common bond of adoption, got together for a winter getaway. It was so, so powerful for all involved. At one point, I overheard a couple of my kids talking to another child about adoption in the same tone as they might ask "So, what's your favourite toy?". It was as if we re-wrote the definition of 'normal' for just a couple of days.

As parents, we had the opportunity to just watch our children interact with others without having to worry about explaining their offbeat behaviours. We got to see other parents and how they handle things. We shared meals as families, and as one large group as well.

I can't overstate how empowering it was for me personally to just be away and to just feel normal. It seems like it has been months since I felt that way; maybe since the last time we all went camping together last summer.

My husband and I came back refreshed and ready to tackle the next parenting challenge, whatever it may be. It felt so amazing to know that we are not alone. There are days, weeks, and even months when we have felt just that way. Weekends like this (and hopefully the May retreat) reinforce the connection and chase away that isolated feeling.

Make that three...

Here's a chance for you and two of your friends to come as a group! One of our moms has had to back out, so we have three spaces available.

Two - count 'em - two!

We are down to just TWO spaces left in the original house for our Moms Away weekend! I think that is absolutely awesome. Two is also the number of people who have sent in their deposits, so please let this act as a gentle reminder about that as well.

Cheers!

Courage

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” ~ Mary Ann Radmacher

Many of you moms and dads are amongst the courageous; those who get up day after day - tired, but not beaten. My hat is off to all of you. You are making a difference to a child (or 2 or 12 or 40) by just trying and trying and trying again. Even if it looks like failure and feels like failure; there is success in the very attempt.

I sometimes forget to give myself a break; my own expectations for myself as a mother get in the way of my reality. That often causes me grief and stress, and no little amount of guilt. Yet, when I can step back and just breathe for a moment, I can see that, although not perfect, I am just brave enough to say, "I'll try again tomorrow."

The days that are toughest are the ones that I just can't say that. I don't know about you, but those are the ones that eat away at my own belief in myself and my parenting.

So, here's to you, me, and all of us and to that quiet strength that whispers, "Okay, one more day."

Teresa

AFABC

I'm very excited - the Adoptive Families Association of BC has offered/agreed to be connected to the retreat! I've been a volunteer with them for a few years now, since I started up our local Coffee & Chat group. I've alway been impressed by their willingess to take on the tough stuff about adoption; to ask the questions that we, as individual parents, cannot always ask the politicians, social workers, etc.

More than anything else, I feel that the AFABC is there for people at every stage in the adoption process. My children love to see the celebratory pictures (they felt like stars when their own announcement was published). My eldest often turns to the profile, as she feels deeply about children remaining in the foster system. We've borrowed books from the extensive library, gathered great advice on the phone and from the website, and had some great discussions at our coffee & chat group.

I think this is awesome news! (And, I want to send a special shout-out to Dianna, who is such an amazing 'adoption support coordinator.' Thanks!!!

And - look! We're even on their website. How cool is that!

Giving voice to the yuckies

So, a BIG part of why I organized this "Moms Away" retreat was that I really, really wanted to go to Orlando to join with all the other moms. I flip-flopped back and forth, and finally decided that I just could not justify the expense. However, I just read Corey's post about fears and I cried. At first I thought - what are you doing in my head? Then, I realized that there are so many of us who deal with unimaginable things every day. And, we get up the next day and do it all again. It's amazing really.

To add to Corey's impressive list, here are a few of those yucky thoughts of my own:
* How did I ever think I could handle all of this?
* I can't be honest with the people I love about my kids, because I don't want anyone else judging them or me.
* This hurts so much.
* If it hurts me this much, I can't even imagine what it is like for my children.
* I love them so much; shouldn't I be able to make it all better?
* Will my marriage survive raising our children?
* What was I thinking?
* I am so mad at . Why isn't he/she/they here helping this child survive this?
* I am not the parent I thought I would be. Some days, I am so much less; some days, so much more.
* One day at a time - some days, one breath at a time.
* It is what it is.

These are all just my thoughts - and even here, I am self-editing as I don't want to be judged. One hundred nineteen days until Moms Away where no self-editing will be necessary. Just honesty, rejuvenation, and connection.

I can't wait!